Suri invites women to start nurturing their relationship with money, in order to let it work for them, instead of the other way around.
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TRANSCRIPT – edited for clarity
CHECK-IN: Before we start today’s episode, let’s begin with a quick mom check-in:
- How are you doing today, parents? How was your week? I hope you enjoyed some good moments or even many good moments.
- If it’s morning where you are – did you find time today to take care of yourself first? To do your morning routine, whether that’s enjoying a warm coffee, going out for a walk in the forest, a run in the park, yoga at home, meditation on your couch, or sitting down for 5 to 10 minutes and finally writing an entry into your journal?
If not, maybe pause this podcast now and do at least one of those things first. Because it might sound unbelievable, but this will still be here when you come back!
For me, I’m still doing Yoga With Adriene on YouTube. Her free September playlist is called ‘Seek’ and I’ll include a link to that in the show notes of this episode.
- And if you’re listening to this in the afternoon or evening, have you had time this week to update the calendar on your phone?
And I don’t just stop with typing in the appointment title in my Google calendar. I also copy and paste parts of the text from the invite describing details, the start and end times, location, and any weblinks into the notes section of my calendar. That way, I have ALL the information I need in one place.
So if you’ve done one or all of these things, well done to you. I’m so proud of you for showing up. And if not, don’t worry, there are no winners or losers here. Just try your best. Remember that it gets easier the more you do it. So keep on trying, and let’s get started with today’s episode.
INTRO: If you’re new here, welcome to Doing Things On Purpose, the podcast that empowers women to take charge of their time, health, relationships, and money by doing things on purpose. I’m your host Suri. Let’s get to today’s episode titled: Let Your Money Work for You.
SURI: In the last 9 episodes, I’ve been focused mainly on the relationship and mindset piece of life because in my experience, and studies have also shown, that that’s the piece that can move the needle the most when it comes to our sense of well-being and life satisfaction.
I don’t actually mean that nurturing relationships means you’ve got to have a family. It can also be the sense of joy and meaning you get when you serve or connect with other people through your work or friendships. But let’s not get off topic.
You can listen to Episodes 3 and 5, if you want a recap of what my thoughts are about building good relationships.
So what’s the role of money in all of this?
For me, I see people being trapped in thinking about money as the end goal. But where does that lead you? I think you know where this story goes.
Because money itself doesn’t make people happy. It can bring comfort, sure. But is that really what’s going to satisfy you 30, 40, 50, 60 or maybe even 70 years down the road?
It’s just a neutral tool. Like technology, telephones, the internet or social media.
- It’s a tool that we can use to connect with each other – to go on holidays, to the movies, or just to celebrate with one another.
- It allows us to exchange value and receive validation for the services that we and others provide to one another.
- Having enough of it gives us a sense of security – the clothes, food and roof over our heads.
- Having slightly more than we need gives us the luxury of choice – to save, invest, hire help, work part time, travel, or to explore a new career.
- And then, having even more of it makes us feel safe and secure, with the knowledge that we can afford to retire in comfort, to hire help to care for us in our old age. Money can also be the tool to allow us to further the ideals and causes that we most care about, on a larger scale.
So money can be a very powerful and beautiful tool, if we use it right.
Or maybe, you don’t feel like you have a strong enough purpose to make more money, then just make enough of it to fill your needs. Then maybe you’ll find, ‘Now I want to do a bit more in the world.’ So you find a way, how to make more.
And in that way, you let your money work for you, and you’re not working for your money. You learn to respect money and all the good it can do in the world. You don’t waste it as much. You’re more motivated to save it, you value it, look after it, and you learn how to grow it.
Why do women need to learn about money?
So why do women, moms and stay at home moms in particular, need to learn to have a better relationship with money? It’s because women tend to live longer, we tend to work fewer years and we often get paid less because of this.
- Still on the other hand, as women tend to outlive men, we often inherit more wealth to pass on to the next generation than men. So we should know how to manage wealth.
- Women also use their savings differently. While a man might prefer to save for his vacation, a man tends to put paying off credit card debt as a higher priority – which makes much more financial sense.
- This might surprise you but statistically, women also make better, more profitable, long term investors than men, who tend to be overconfident and willing to take on more risks.
- Lastly, when we have wealth, women also typically spend a higher proportion of our earnings on our families and communities than men.
So it makes quite a lot of sense for women to not be so afraid about the topic of money, because we think, ‘It’s so complicated. My husband or a financial advisor can handle money better than me.’
Because it’s not true.
But of course, before you can convince and work together with your partner on your family’s money strategy, you’ll need to ensure that your relationship is rock solid. You need to first invest in that.
Because unfortunately, nobody is comfortable trusting anyone including their spouse when it comes to their money. They’d rather trust a financial advisor, who they don’t really know. Who unfortunately has other life goals like squeezing out as much fees from their clients as they can. Because that’s how they make a living, that’s their job.
If you have a solid relationship with your spouse, and you’re both on the same page about how you want to spend your life, how you want to retire and what you want to support – then that’s the best financial partner that you can ever find.
Because as Suze Orman says, nobody cares about your money more than you. Another quote from her that I just love is: People first, then money, then things.
So that’s where I’ll leave you today. With these powerful thoughts to ponder about.
When you know what’s important to you, what you care about – you can start to have a more positive, and less fearful relationship with money and let it work for you.
In the next episode, I’ll share the first steps we took as a couple to manage our money, and it‘s still going strong after more than a decade.
Of course it’s always a work in progress, but it’s saved us a lot of headaches and fights over money. Which I think is a super deal because money causes so much stress, heartache and often, even leads to broken relationships.
But to be honest, I think many of us are just innocent children in this game of money, that we were just never taught how to deal with. We’re all confused and wanting to feel secure, accepted, loved, validated and valued.
So let’s learn to give ourselves and each other that – with our intentions and actions, even when it comes to money.
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This is Suri, and you’re listening to the Doing Things on Purpose podcast. Please subscribe, share and rate this podcast on Apple Podcasts, if you haven’t already.
Thank you so much for tuning in. I wish you a lovely weekend ahead, and I’ll catch you next time.