DTOP #45: Career After Kids – Is It Too Late To Begin Again?

Hello, my beloveds, welcome back to another episode of Doing Things On Purpose, the podcast that empowers, women to take charge of their time, health relationships, and money by doing things on purpose.

I’m your host, Suri style a self-love and self-empowerment coach for heart-centered rebels, moms and women who serve. This is episode 45.

Mom Check-In

So let’s just take a moment right now to drop in and take 4 deep breaths in and out.

• (breathes in and out)
• Just loosen up your body. I find, when I breathe in, it helps to just have this wave happening, and I’m not holding my breath.
•  So again, in. And out.And last time in, and out.

And we are here.

So I would love for you to remember that whatever that’s going on in your life, you can always return to your breath.

Career After Kids – Too Late To Begin Again?

Today I want to talk about something that has been on my mind lately. It is the consequence, and my personal experience of choosing family life in my thirties. And now, finding myself in a new chapter.

 If, like me, you decided to become a stay at home, Mom, during those years you may now be in your forties and asking yourself: What now?

You’ve been out of the workforce for a while. You are not the same person that you were in your twenties.

And, by the way, I also spoke about this in episode 18 over a year ago, called The Season To Bloom, and you can check that out at suristahel.com/18 if you’re interested.

But since then I have learned a few things, and I really think this topic is also relevant to younger women considering staying at home with children. But they feel conflicted, about losing time with their babies versus abandoning their careers. And also feeling that they don’t want to burden their partner as the sole breadwinner of the family.

And you might also be asking yourself: 

• How will this affect our relationship?
• Will it be worth it?
• What am I giving up in the process?
• And what then, after motherhood?

Well, as someone who has gone through the active mothering phase of younger children. I can say that committing to that life choice of focusing on the home, if that’s the one that calls you during those early years…has been absolutely worth it. 

Both as the giver and the receiver of more connected relationships in my life.

Again, I’m not suggesting that this is for everyone, and that’s wonderful news. Because I think it takes all kinds right, to make this world work.

 But if this is your path. I want you to know that. Yes, it can feel and be worth it.

But on the career front. After a while you might be feeling like the world has moved on without you, and you’re standing at the edge trying to figure out how to jump back in.

Motherhood brings growth, not stagnation

The 1st thing I want to say is that motherhood is not stagnation, not at all. Motherhood, real, intentional motherhood transforms you.

You’ve probably:

• Built a home
• Navigated hard conversations with your partner
• Learned how to repair after breakdowns
• Figured out how to manage money
• Learned how to manage and not project your own expectations onto others (e.g. your spouse and kids)
•  …and maybe you’ve even managed society’s advice and pressures.

And all of that grows you.

It invites you to be even more skillful in how you relate, how you collaborate, and how you set boundaries with others.

You have done deep, invisible work. And that work has made you wiser, more resilient, and more self-aware.

 But now, as the kids grow older, you might feel a shift, a desire to build something of your own.

And I’ve felt it. 

This pull to create, to contribute, and do bigger work that expands beyond your world. In my case, during midlife. When the world that I’ve spent tending to feels quite stable.

But here’s the thing. The traditional route of going back to school, getting a new degree, doing a practicum, then starting from the bottom. That might not make sense anymore.

Not just logistically or financially, but energetically as well. 

Competing with people 20 years younger, in a workplace that values speed, not wisdom – can feel discouraging.

This is where I think options like solopreneurship, entrepreneurship, or starting something that you can call ‘your own’, can offer a real alternative.

If you can find something you’re obsessed with. Something you can’t stop thinking about. And you can commit to it with the same energy and dedication that you gave to your family… it can work. I have to believe that.

And it might just pay off more than trying to reintegrate yourself into systems that weren’t ever built for you, and your new values, or your found values, and your stage in life.

Not because you’re not capable, but because you’re different. Now you’ve changed. You know yourself better, and you have got something deeper to offer.

 The true gift of midlife is Discernment

And this is where I think we can leverage the true gift of midlife: discernment.

• When we stop doing things just to please others. 
• We recognize our boundaries. 
• We value our energy differently.
• We get more selective with our yesses. 
• And honestly, we just don’t have the energy to waste anymore.

This discernment is our superpower. It helps us follow what feels right and exciting – and drop the rest.

For me, this has meant leaning into curiosity. 

I got into coaching, not because it was the logical next step to do, but because I was drawn to it. And yes, the coaching space is noisy. There are so many voices, methods, and personalities that tell us the right and profitable way to coach to show up and market.

But when I follow what excites me… When I’m learning something I want to learn…. Everything flows more easily.

My impact, my results, the connections I build. It all reflects the energy that I bring.

But let’s be real. It can be scary sometimes. 

I wonder if I’m just making an excuse for myself? Am I just avoiding the traditional route because it seems hard and I’m lazy?

But when I put myself in those shoes. Imagine putting four years into a new degree, plus internships, and proving myself at an entry level, and by the time I’m “hireable”, I’m in my late forties or fifties.

It just doesn’t match the effort. Not anymore. And honestly, the traditional path doesn’t even guarantee success and safety anymore – and not for younger folks either. 

So maybe the question isn’t: Can I make this work the traditional way?

Maybe the question is: What is this season of life asking of me?

So if you’ve built a solid family foundation, if you’ve cultivated the courage to start over, and if you’re ready to build something on your own terms.

I believe something like entrepreneurship, or creative work, or whatever that lights you up, is a worthy path to uncover and follow. And you don’t need a perfect plan. You just need to follow the energy, and let your path unfold before you.

Takeaways

Let me leave you with a few core takeaways.

1. Motherhood is not a detour, it’s real growth, and it’s worth doing.
2. Traditional paths may not serve you anymore, when you consider restarting your career later in life. And that’s okay. It’s a new adventure waiting for you.
3. Your midlife discernment is your superpower. Trust it, and follow it.
4. Follow what excites you. Not what others expect of you. You don’t have time to waste anymore.

So if you’re in this place of transition, I would love to hear from you:

• Are you thinking of building something new?
• Or are you someone younger, and wondering if staying at home is worth it?
• What are you afraid of?
• What’s holding you back?

Let’s hold the vision together, that no matter what season we’re in – we can make it work.

I hope this episode has brought some hope if you’re dreaming of something new, or wondering what’s next for you.

Follow, rate, like and subscribe

Thank you so much for listening. If you like this episode, please follow like rate, subscribe – all of the things.

Work with me 

And if you would love to be supported by me personally, to hold your next vision in life – check out my offerings at suristahel.com. I’d love to hear from you.

As always, the show notes can be found at suristahel.com/45 for this episode. 45. And please feel free to connect with me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, or YouTube. 

I wish you exciting explorations in your season of life. Have a beautiful rest of your week, and I will catch you again next time. Bye-bye.